"We're going to show us just how great we are!"

So the Oscars were last night. Nothing too new or exciting there. I watched about 15 minutes of it on and off... and then OFF. Award shows are so terrifically dull and pompous - I only like when these people are caught acting human (e.g. when Katherine Heigel practically lost it simply by presenting an award.) Having seen very little of the it, I'm now here to pass on my judgment concerning said award show that I did not actually watch (in a convenient bulleted format!)

• Javier Bardem won for Best Supporting Actor for his part in No Country for Old Men (which again, I did not see), but I'm sure he did an amazing job. And during his speech, he gave a shout-out to his mom - who he brought to the ceremony... That's so cute, I'm fighting the urge to go to the mall and create a Build-a-Bear to commemorate such cuteness. He's a tremendous actor, and a total stud to boot. Meet me in Valencia, Signor Bardem...

• I wanted to give the little French chick, Marion Cotillard, a high five because she was so genuinely excited when she won for Best Actress. And she wore a freaking mermaid dress... like, rock the f-on, mademoiselle!

• And Tilda Swinton kind of rocks at the other end of the spectrum. She's so bizarrely androgynous and bohemian and too-cool-for-school... and that's groovy. I can dig it. And she's allegedly friends with the Cloonster, so obviously she possesses a certain level of cool unattainable by mere mortals.

• I want to grab a blender and make margaritas with Jennifer Garner and Laura Linney. I love Laura Linney - she's a great actress and is always so "put together"... but she also looks like she'd be down for doing a few shots and sharking your ass at pool. And ever since I saw Jennifer Gardner on "Martha Stewart," I've kind of adored her, though I haven't seen any of her movies. She's refreshingly candid and self-depreciating, in spite of being a total biddy (new word for "hottie" - pass it on.)

• I would say "I hope I look as good as Helen Mirren when I'm her age," but in all honesty, I wish I was as hot as she is right now. Yes - that's right - at the age of 23, I wish I had the Helen Mirren biddy factor. What up.

• Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova won for Best Song for "Falling Slowly" from Once. "Yesssss" is all I have to say to that. And apparently, the sweetest moment of the evening was after Marketa was cut off by the "get your ass off the stage" music, Jon Stewart pulled her back up a few moments later and let her finish. Glen looked quite dapper and Marketa's just so freaking cute - I'm happy for them. Kick ass acoustic, man. This song always gives me goosebumps and last night's rendition of it is no exception. Here's the very moving performance along with a rather sweet intro from... Colin Farrell, of all people. Enjoy.

[Edit: so it seems that youtube yoinked the video. Boo to that. Anyway, here's the same song, directly from the film. Now you may enjoy.]