27 October 2007

Ever get... urges?

When Megan and I aren't exchanging stories about spiders after lunch (worst possible time ever for that, by the way), we try to keep it culture-centric. A couple of weeks ago, we were swapping stories about artistic urges... that is to say, the way you feel when you need to do something artistic--whether it's painting, drawing, writing, etc. With her, it's writing poetry, but our experiences are surprisingly similar. There's a distracting sort of little gnawing away at the back of your mind and very abruptly, you start feeling edgy--almost uncomfortable. Your muscles tense up, your heartbeat quickens, there's a rush of adrenaline--"it's almost... sexual," she hesitated to say, but I'm inclined to agree. It's a very primitive emotion for something that is, in essence, very human.

Usually, when I get the urge to paint or draw, I don't have immediate access to the materials that I need, so I end up frustrated and irritated, or sometimes, just downright surly. Very suddenly today, I felt the need to paint. It's almost like your body just grew without warning and your skin's not keeping up--you feel confined and the only thing to break out of that shell is to create. Unfortunately, it takes me about 5 minutes to set up to paint, and in that time so much can go wrong--mostly, you run the risk of losing the clear picture you've created in your mind. I did end up painting--I'm not very happy with what I painted, but at least I did it. There is relief in that.

I've noticed that when I feel compelled to write however, it's much easier. It's probably simply because I always keep a small notepad and pen with me, or I'm close to a computer, so there's a much shorter time between that sensation and the actual act of writing. But something I've noticed with the writing compulsion is that my brow literally jumps up when I get a thought I want to write down. It's just for a moment, but I must look startled and bemused--like I've just heard an elderly woman swear.

May your artistic urges be many, always be requited, and your facial expressions priceless.


Eryn said...

omg the gnawing feeling you get when you feel the need to be artsy......i so KNOW what you're talking about. for me that fire is usually calmed if i paint, make something cool in design, catch up on my blog, or do something crafty.

i'm glad you were able to put my emotions into words though. bc i can become the biggest biotch at the beginning of this feeling. alex will be like WTF...and walk away defeated.

Alec said...

Thank Jeebus you know what I'm talking about. I threw it out there hoping to relate, thinking, "it couldn't just be Megan and me..." Good thing I was right and you weren't just like, "weirdo."

Oh, the agony and the ecstasy.

Eryn said...

so i was watching the food network last night and one of rachel ray's travel/eating shows was on. and she was in boston.

i can't wait to someday spend more time in the town in which you work :-)

have you ever been to central kitchen??? this place looked so good. and what's with this Jamaica Plaines business....I never heard of this town/city/township (whatever it is) but a lot of the restaurants she went to were there.

there was another restaurant called "Ten ???" any guesses what the last part of the name is, I forget...oops (anyway, it looked cool as well)

after the Italy trip we've decided to travel to a few U.S. cities that we haven't been to yet or wish to see more of (i.e. San Francisco, Seattle, Boston, D.C., etc..)

Alec said...

Jamaica Plains (aka JP for those of us in the know), is one of the... up and coming places in Boston. It has its rough spots, but it's not that bad. It's also the home of the Sam Adam's brewery (I don't like beer, but took the tour, anyway).

But I actually haven't spent much time in JP--I'm usually around downtown Boston or Somerville/Cambridge area. And as much as I hate Rachel Ray, I might have to convince my Boston friends to head over there with me if YOU think it would be worth it. Prov also has some good restaurants--a friend of mine from SoCal said as much as she hates the weather here and the lack of amazing produce, you'll never find better Italian-American food than in MA/RI.

You know you've got a rad local tour guide if you want to head up to the Northeast (come to the Northeast!!)... and I swear I know my way around so much better now. You'll get the crazytimes tour.